Sunday, December 18, 2005
Things are back on a roll, i meant about the assignments and seminars and all crap. The viscious circle bak on full swing. College has closed and will reopen on the 2nd of Jan 2006. Another year is fast approaching and one has got its last sunsets coming. i will be shifting with frnds from my Granpas place. No new movies nor anything else. these days am into cricket like hell, plays it every other day in college.
Tuesday, December 6, 2005
The classes are back on swing. Gotta submit the political science assignment on the 8th. i plan to do the seminar on Budhism, it seems like it gonna fetch me extra internal marks. How kiddish the whole notion is.
The juniors got classes till the evening and these days i got pretty much time to know more about them. i met this junior named Indu and she seems good; not good looking or anything,but the attitude is worth mentioning. maybe i will get to know her better, maybe not. Naziya's marriage is drawing near and i aint going. gotta collect the dough from class to give her a gift. Perhaps we should gift her a jumbo pack of condoms, with all the flavours and variations. then again nothing has been discussed about Xmas celebrations. fatso gonna go with Fatass to Jabalpur for Xmas. It will be just me and Pappu back home.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
The second semester exams got over by the 31st of October, and the much dreaded first semester results were published. The results held a surprise for me, man I passed all subjects. Though I had written the exams nicely and was positive about clearing all the papers at that time, time brought butterflies into my stomach. They cherished on the knowledge of the dreadful results of yester years and made it their home, multiplied and had fun. It wasn’t just me who passed in all subjects, 33 of us cleared the damn stuff. Seems like a new record in college. So our batch started with making history in college.
The 3rd semester classes are back on swing and things look good as of now. The semester system takes a heavy toll on the students, seems like we are involved in a vicious circle. College elections are on the 9th of December and things are warming up.
I spent a day at Sanjeevani Rehabilitation Center with Remya. Guy the chick is working hard as a social worker. Gotta be in the environment to get a hang about it, lunatics and addicts, mentally challenged and Alzheimer’s… Christ! Only a narrow strip of some godamn stuff makes me and you different from the inmates over there. The screams I heard, and the innocence I saw on their face was some thing new for me. Mabbe it might be because the only screams I ever heard were my demand to mom and dad for new things and accessories.
It rained cats and dogs in Chennai the time I dropped in at Chechi’s place. The city was clogged with water and you know wot! But I really loved getting drenched in the rain and spending time at chechi’s den with hot, steaming coffee that Sheeja chechi made for me.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Days go with splendour and nights in grace. Nothing to complain about nor anything to cry. A very healthy relation with all my class mates and sure the deceased being given the respect they deserve. The seminars are oer and I didn’t do all that bad in sociology and politics. History was a big failure, coz I was seeing free days far ahead rather than checking the things for the moment. Juniors arrived on the 22 and they, the poor kids are being given a extravagant reception by my class mates… jolly well, their classes are suspended for the week and once they come back after onam they will be enjoying the real treat.
Looking ahead to a week of idleness and sheer laziness, couple of days to celebrate and have fun in college. With the new juniors around no one gives a damn about commenting on my latest hairdo or the whacky gestures I make.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
We (I, Praneeth and Chullan) started from Thamannam @ around 6pm and reached the Ernakulam North Station to board the Trivandrum Mail. Bharathi was there in front of the station and had to put up with him all through the journey. Nothing of great importance happened during the 14hrs we were in train. Praneeth called it a day very soon and me and Chullan sat chatting till 1:30am.
Chullan’s dad awaited us in Chennai Central along with Chullan’s younger bro and my elder sis. We then moved to Mambalam to his guest house. A three bed roomed apartment near the never sleeping T.Nagar.
Off to the streets in search of merchandise. Shirts and tees for myself and Praneeth, lotta window shopping. Mingled well with the crowd in Ranganathan Street, jelled with the vendors and enjoyed the whole thing. Took a bus to Chullan’s home in Mylapore and had our lunch there.
Spencer’s awaited us and we didn’t waste much time anywhere else. The huge shopping mall, said to be the biggest in South India, with the multi lingual crowd, the exclusive outlets of almost all leading brands of apparels, the cheap fakes that occupy the top floors! Gals in tightly clad denim and halter tops with coloured hair and tattoos and piercing roamed around the mall. And sure we did join the crowd and did browse through shops.
Came back to Mambalam exhausted from the days work and with more than a tired limb to relax. Altogether the day was fun. We were in a city which was anonymous to us and no one there knew about our existence apart from a few. For the rest, we never existed. Planned to make an early entrance to the streets the next day, but it just remained a dream.
Mamallapuram was the destination. Journey by bus till Thiruvanmiyur and then from there the original plan was to board another one to the destination. The buses never stopped for us and after almost 20 minutes of standing in the scorching heat we wanted to back out. Then as the movie title goes "along came a VAN", hitchhiked to Mamallapuram and reached there in real spirits. The ocean in front of us, antique shops lined across the streets… had lunch from ‘Moonrakers’ and then off we went for hunting. The first destination was the temple and it was beautifully carved outta stone, the sea and the salty breeze eating the outer surface and the inner carvings still holding its beauty as new. The statues of Nandis that was sprawled along the border of the temple and the statue of ‘Subramanian’ at the back were all work of artists of another class.
The next spot was the light house and the scene from there was GORGEOUS, any other word can’t give justice to the view. From there to the ‘Five Rathas’ and by the time we reached the five rathas, which was all carved outta single rock, we almost were at the end of our sense. Tired limbs and tired spirits made us board the bus to Chennai and then apart from misfortune of loosing our seats to two old Mozzi fads we were restored.The next place that we went to was ‘Besant Nagar’. The beautiful crowded beach and the gals taking an evening out with their ‘better halves’ were a delight to the eyes. Ocean surfing and CHIKKA browsing and Fagg worshipping later we headed towards our hole in Mambalam.
The first thing we did was buy sweets from Adayar Ananda Bhavan for Chullan’s family and Pooja. Had the pre-Onam lunch from Chullan’s home and we took the sky train to Chetpet and from there an auto to Spencer’. Praneeth was a little cross because we were late for the appointment with Pooja (the gal who stole Manaz’s heart). She was smarter, kept us waiting for roughly 10minutes and appeared only after we started building second thoughts about the appointment. She wore a black Salwar and was a little too fat. Now, I heard Manaz and other guys saying that she has lost weight over the last couple of months. I can’t help but wonder about her looks of the earlier period. Anyways she wasn’t inhibited, opened to us and after half an hour with her in Landmark, I and Chullan moved out, leaving Praneeth with Pooja.
It was during this one hour that I found a gal who stopped hearts and made the guys give a second and third glance. She was hot, as if straight from the sets of a movie… a real heart stopper, I believe it might’ve been a gal like this who gave Michael Corleon the Thunder Bolt in Sicily. Her face was carved out like that of a Greek Goddess and her complexion was perfect. I bet she would’ve smelt lavender and her luscious lips tasted like honey. I really would’ve given my right arm just to hold her face in my hand… ok. No one demanded my arm nor did she give me a second glance.
Both the P’s came back and together they looked perfect for each other. I made a second bet in my mind, i.e., Pooja and Praneeth will make a better pair than Manaz and her. It was almost time for Praneeth to hit the road back to Kerala. Said byes and shed errrr nothing.With hesitant legs we headed towards the railway station and had our last meal together in Chennai. Praneeth boarded the train and we hanged around till the train left the station.Chullan dropped me at my chechi’s apartment and the next three days of mine started from there.
Hanged around till noon and off I went to the date I had fixed with Krishna (Nahyan’s chat friend). She turned out to be a fat gal with balding head. Christ, I never bargained for this, I wanted out and at last succeeded in flying after an hour with her. I have made a decision, no more blind dates. Straight back to chechi’s place and slept. Wanted to sleep off the mare I got myself into.
Hit the streets early, with 4 shots of vodka down the throat from a disc. The guys in the pub were left astounded, ordered two pegs of vodka, they gave me four pegs coz of happy hours and I finished the thing in exactly 4 swings. Paid the bill and searched the shops for the tee and jean for Sid. Spent the whole day hanging out and at last bought the anti fit jean for Sid. Again I went out with Chechi at night and did a bit more of shopping and after a heart dinner and a long talk with Sheeja chechi (my chechi’s room mate) called it a day.15-September-2005
The day was for shopping, checked out Reebok, Woodland, Levi’s and Adidas factory outlets in Vellacherry and after buying the stuffs I need came back to Egmore. Packed my bag and was ready to hit the road. Dropped in at the Jet Air office and met Chechi’s colleagues and someone over there liked my Goatee.
Boarded the train and Chechi came at 8 after office to say bye and to wish me birthday. She gave me the best gift I got for the birthday and said byes as the train moved. My companions for the journey were, an ex MLA and his wife and my younger sis. We got together well and I slept as I turned 21.
Saturday, August 6, 2005
Officially: Government Law College, Cochin.
Unofficially: “The House of Lords”
Location: “Shanmugham Road”, Cochin (in the environs of ST. Theresa’s, Cochin’s premier Gals College…call it a kind twist of fate or wot?)
The main building was made by the Raja of Cochin as his Parliament house two or three centuries ago and it still is in the same state with time doing its share of destruction and the students the rest. Two blocks were added around 25 or 30 years before with the building contractor taking his share of cement home and these blocks looks more menacing than the ol’ one made by the Raja. Lawns and recreational areas mean the bush and shrubs that are sprawled all over the campus. Cleaning is never done regularly and the stink from the men’s loo could be smelled even in the Principals chamber. (For the record, people don’t even dare to give a passing glance at the college for fear of being inflicted by the mess.) There are a few special nooks and crannies in the college where lovers try to get a lil’ bit of romance started and the boozers get to sing “twelve men sitting by the dead man’s chest and a bottle of RUM…”
The aam janta in the college is by and large conservative in their dress code and radicals in their ideas (now aint that irony), there sure are a few exceptions. . The guys are mostly found in jeans and half slacks, the gals in salwars and sure the political hyenas go around in mundu and heavily starched khadi shirts.Out of every hundred students, 15 have their eyes on the political thrones, 25 gets their highs in life by catcalling the gals in ST. Theresa’s, 10 are nerds, 10 are happening and they rock and the rest clueless about life. Most of the college girls have a certain characteristic that makes one call them MOM
The college had hostels for both the sex, but around 5 years back it was closed for renovation (its wot the authorities say). The gal’s hostel sure falls under the explanation given by the authorities but the men’s hostel was forced to close down because of the threat it posed for the college authorities and the public. Recently the renovation work has started and only time could tell with what else will the hostel pose a threat to Cochin.
The annual college fest finds the guys in high spirits and most of the gals prefer to stay at home. No college management with a good memory would dare to invite us for any inter collegiate festival, coz in Cochin, the name G.L.C means trouble with capital ‘T’. You name any college within 25 miles of Cochin and not a single college will be there in which we haven’t created havoc. We get invited only for debates and elocutions and sure the hosts find our students bag most of the honours.
The “Convent Junction” area is the favorite hangout of bunkers. The first floor of the ol’ Raja’s Parliament House is the hotspot of the puff daddies.
The college has a long history and it’s sure the premier institute for law in Kerala. The college has had its own share of limelight for both the right and wrong reasons. Sometimes I am so darned proud to be Lawcos and at times when people look at me with detest on showing my id I wish that the dinosaurs were not extinct and they could be whistled to come and gobble me. Good or bad, every single literate person in Kerala who isn’t a juvenile will have something to say about the Government Law College, Cochin.
Friday, June 24, 2005
1 You go to the inter-collegiate festival at ST. Theresa’s WOMEN'S College to participate in an event and the guard near the gate lets you enter the campus only after you show your invitation and if he is satisfied, he frisks you as if you have some hidden equipment on you.
2 You walk with your mom on the side walks of marine drive, and expect at least a dozen gals of your neighbourhood enjoying the breeze mysteriously disappearing.
3 To get your work done in the Corporation Office on a busy day, you'd have to use the path beneath the desk or come in and shout in a hybrid of English and Hindi.
4 You don’t stop at the red signals if you got 100 rupees to spare and a non sensitive ear to listen to the police constable blabber about his honesty and his helping you by accepting the gift.
5 Every fifth person you meet claims that he or she is a MODEL or a DISC JOCKEY. In truth there are just two discs in Cochin and they get guys from Bangalore or Bombay to perform the gigs.
6 Every kid in your locality knows the political scenario of the state without even listening to the evening news and he will readily give his opinion about the smart city project.
7 All the cheap, college going studs wait near the ST. Theresa for, err, recreation. On a typical evening there might be more guys than gals near the college.
8 When you invite your friend over to your place to spend the weekend (with no parents around to interfere), be prepared to do salvage on your relation with your neighbour’s daughter.
9 Never sit by the side of an unknown woman in the public transports even if the seat by her side is vacant and she is twice your mom’s age. She will ask you to move away or act like you have an infectious disease.
10 Gal friends are possessions costlier than diamonds and a lot depends on your visa card.
(I am offering a Rs. 500 reward to the first person who shows me a city in India with better back waters and lagoons than Cochin has.)
Tuesday, June 7, 2005
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
My heart swells in the demise of my friend; she was a flower which never bloomed. With great pain I described to you about the demise of my friend, now it wouldn’t be proper of me to give up at least an obituary in honor of my friend. The idea never sprouted in my mind till today, the fault is on me coz I never thought about my friend, to remember some one you needs to have a pleasant memoir of the person and I fail to have one. All the things with her in it is a pain in the bl##dy a##, the way she was cut out from life will be a blessing to lotta people coz, she was a wild flower and such flowers cast a poisonous spell to the people nearby. Perhaps she might be alive for the world but not for me. Death is a certain and some people die in the hearts long before their hearts stop pumping life… a similar scenario. And its amazing that the friends and relatives of the deceased person doesn’t even give a damn thought about the poor soul.
But the thing that makes me feel wonder struck is the ability of the language. Use the same words to get the different meaning. Irony and sarcasm giving shape to hidden meanings and way to express the hatred that got born in you with just shade of thought about that person. Let the poor soul “rest in peace” till eternity.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Forty-five days have passed since my college closed, but I haven’t achieved the plans I made for holidays. Though lonely almost at all hours, I find this idling interesting. Thinking about what to do whenever the electricity fails and going through magazines and dailies as if they contain a hidden treasure for me. Falling asleep with books in my hand and waking up some time in the noon to continue with the reading, no brushing, no bathing… straight of from the last page I read before I slept. Long hours doing nothing and then crazy spells rectifying the mistakes in my computer, which are mostly non-existent and trying to make it the ultimate gaming pc! Long shower some time mid noon when the scorching heat of the omnipresent starts making me perspire as if I just went for a swim.
College reopens on the 1st of June and I am happy for that, but a little sad thinking about having to be involved in the vicious cycle once again – sleep, food, college, friends, boring lectures, assignments, room and then repeat the things in any order the student wish to follow. The time my college closed, I made a huge list of things to do, but couldn't fulfill a single thing. Thought about building up muscles, after all the effort nothing worked out. I did not even go near the R.T.O’s office to apply for a new license, and things like that… now I believe I gotta sing “Mein Aisa Kyon Hoo”. What is the big deal? Give me a break; I happen to be one of the most irresponsible guys the most vivid thinker could ever dream of… the usual spoilt and lazy brat.
Why do I always fail to keep my resolutions? Why do I always stop mid way while following my plans? Why do I sleep only when the craw quarks? Why do I sleep till the hot and humid sun wakes me up? Why do I prefer to eat after everyone has had their food? What am I trying to establish by wearing the same pair of tees again and again for weeks? Why do I engage in changing my operating system? Why don’t I have a proper conversation with my parents instead of the monosyllables? Why don’t I attend mass????? Lots of why’s and more why’s? Hey maybe because I happens to be the generation after the ‘X’, like The Hindu said in their article – The Y generation!
Got to catch up with friends, move out from the cocoon that I have made for myself. Venture out, meet friends of school, meet my college buddies, have fun, party and stuff. One more week at home and then back to college, to get closer to my dreams and stars.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
“Marriages takes place in heaven”, now it ain't my words, someone else’s! Then sure heaven gotta be here itself, in the god’s own country. Coz the toll of marriages is as heavy as it could be during this time of the year. Couple of our classmates got married and then two of our mates elder siblings. As I never miss a chance to have a free meal, I dropped in at three functions and sure had food. What else to do? I dropped in more or less because; I had a commitment to the concerned parties. I find sitting at my home more entertaining than being over there amidst the crowd and the humidity and not to say about the rush to the dining area. Seems like every single one gonna have a decent meal after ages. Christ, the whole thing is pathetic.
What does someone gain by getting married? An object to fulfill the sexual needs or better, ready and safe sex! Yes it is true to a certain extend; you don’t have to rehearse the lines every time you get the warmth growing up in you. Personally I believe two people waste their life by getting married. Along with the companionship and love, you get attached by strings which you never bargained for. Two people lose their individuality and their free will once they get married, both the guy and the gal is expected to share every single little thing that happens in the firm and while traveling and what not! Some say that marriage is a social institution for the development of human being as a whole (both in numbers and quality). What the hell? You don’t need to walk around the fire a dozen times or recite a prayer in front of the altar to have kids. And you don’t need to sign a marriage form in front of the registrar to believe each other completely. The faith that gotta be there between a man and his woman does not get transfused from the altar or the fire. Either its there or it ain't. Guys who get married with all the fire and forms too indulge in adultery. Marriage does not stop all that, it just provides the guy another mode of entertainment. It’s almost the same in the fairer sex too; they too are not left behind. Rather than all the elaborate rituals and functions, the only thing that is really needed is faith and individuality. Say something like – “I don’t go around knocking down dames and hope my wife don’t go around being knocked by some guy”.
Then the dough that gets blasted on such a day, lakhs and lakhs of money down the drain! Apart from feeding a 1000 starved people (which no one is, but the rush in the corridor suggests in the formation of such an opinion) and then having to hear what real good food was there or the complains about the papaddam being a little too small or the meat being a little too spicy. Nothing else is gained, a minimum of 300grands down the throats. At least, the money could be used instead for something else. But what …?
Even I may get married and I might find the things about which I bragged now as stupid. See u someday. If anyone feels offended, I am sorry, the whole thing is a little too open and no personal smudging is intended.
Sunday, May 8, 2005
Despite all the hoopla surrounding the mother’s day, not all moms will have the reasons to exult today. Some will not even be inclined or encouraged to meet the child they carried for nine months, let alone be pampered by filial love.
For ‘mother’ no longer is the last word for selfless love anymore. Motherhood, so well idolized by Bollywood, is under attack from medical science, that has marauded its domain and made motherhood as clinical as an IVS procedure, as soulless as a monetary transaction, or at best, an obligation for someone in the family who can’t conceive.
An article that made me attentive about this new trend is the story of a 26 year old Indian woman who gave birth to a half American boy last year. A former housemaid, she gave away her womb on rent for an NRI couple, who in turn gave her enough money to pay off debts accumulated by her drunkard husband and send her two kids to school. In addition, she got the Big Apple-settled memsahib’s discarded Gucci's. Delivering a Gora child in a swank city gave her a high; the fact that she would never see her child again after it was born does not bother her.
Surrogate motherhood has brought with it a blurring of societal boundaries and a breaking of stereotypes in relationships. If a woman’s womb is unable to carry a child to the full term but her egg and her partner’s sperm is good, a surrogate could have their child for them. Not surprisingly, girls who work in the beauty parlors and house maids are making a killing. With the going rate anything between Rs 50,000 – Rs 1 lakh a child, commercial surrogates are slowly becoming a much sought after lot. Bizarrely, some are in demand only because women with healthy wombs don’t want to distort their figures and cramp their lifestyles with a pregnancy.
Not that the medical fraternity finds anything wrong with the complete lack of emotions in the new stock of ‘mothers’. The doctors maintain that they encourage altruistic surrogacy; by it a completely devastated couple gets the gift of life. So you have a grand mother giving birth to her grand child as a favor for her daughter who is unable to do so. If she’s lucky the child will grow up to call her granny, never mind the birthing pains it gave her on its arrival. In short what the hell? Not all mothers are mothers.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
nothing much is happening.. the same old life, but i am joying the break.. divya sree gonna get married tomorrow and another gal down the drain... poor kids... getting married and losing everything they have.. the freedom, the fun, the relations....
Has anyone ever felt wat a waste life is? being born and then learning lotta crap and at last getting married to a bitch or a rooster and then having kids and then working like hell and at last to be buried or to be burned.. the whole idea stinks.. but still can't do anything to stop it...
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Nothing is happening for me these days. Am at home, doing err nothing. Fiction,ie, Ludllum and fifa 2005. It makes most of my days and night. Got half a dozen of marriages coming by and am gonna start the run. Hate to go for the stuff but then compared to being alone at home it gives more entertainment. At least different kinda food everyday.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Jive was here on the 9th April. Guy has changed. Great, he sounds more mature and cool now. On his advice, i gonna never again get into much details about my personal life in the blog. Gotta be creative and do things with a foresight, things that could help me broaden my life and vision. Has the damn sinus and can't even read. Gotta wait for one week to do some serious salvage work in the fiction department. Long time since i met my school friends, will meet them on the 17th. A long list of pending mails, seems like my inbox is full. Gotta log in today and reply to at least a dozen of the mails.
Friday, April 8, 2005
Long time since I logged in. My fault. Exams got postponed thrice and I slogged the whole time. Nope, I tried to act busy and studious. Things happened all these days, lotta things. I ain't gonna get into the details, coz it contains nothing vital in it for my development. The troubles started when the exams were first announced.
Leepa’s phone calls conveyed to me that Tobin said something bad about Pappu to her. Now the accusation was baseless; someone accusing Pappu of talking bad about the girls in our class. She had asked me not to say it to anyone, but nope Pappu means a lot more to me than my word to her. I said it and Pappu went after Tobin asking about the whole issue. A verbal assault from Pappu and Tobin kept mum. But then our pal Midhun couldn't’t keep to his business and he started his words against me. Ok. Apologies said and accepted. I did do wrong and so did all others. My fault was that I gave out the names of the guys who boozed 3 week ago in my casual careless manner. But then the gals conveyed it to Midhun and his sidekicks that Joseph said, “Midhun and guys spoke ill of Ponni and Co. when we boozed”. Now Leepa said the same thing to me, with a little twist in the tale. Over here the story was like, “Midhun said to Ponni that we guys(me and my pals) spoke ill about the gals on that day”. Great, two sides for the same tale at two places. This is what i say as CREATIVE.
My exams were closing in, but my mind was at places. Me, Rahul, Praneet and Pappu decided to call Leepa and clarify the whole thing. She knew about the ceasefire agreement between our groups beforehand. Now that gotta be the handiwork of Midhun. Nothing happened with our talks with her and things were as bad as they were at first. Niths gave in couple of things that Leepa had said to her about us. The things that the dirty, fat, asshole said about us to Niths were "these guys walk around with you to have sex. You will understand your mistake one day. They gonna rape you finally. I fear to be with Joseph coz I am pretty much sure that he gonna rape me." She even added something bad about Shivani. Jesus Christ, that was the limit. I don't mind listening to crap about me. Hey, I sound more like a rowdy at least in it, but her guts to involve Shivani in it. By god I wish I could slit her dirty throat and rip of the tongue that said bad about my (?). I decided to give her a treatment with her own stuff. The day exams get over (7th April) was fixed for her. The last rites would be given and may her soul REST IN PEACE.
April 7th, one of the worst days in my life. A day in which I forgot my own standards and stooped to the level of that silly weaker being. The things I said to her, Christ I never said such stuff to a girl. I called her a bitch on the face. I said that she wasn't even of the standards of a prostitute who spreads the bed for her meal. I said, "I prefer eating the thing that my dog leaves in the pavement every morning, rather than to have anything to do with her". The threat i gave her was that the next time she drags me or my pals into her business, I gonna go personally to every class and talk about her tits. Now isn't that real DIRTY!? I never knew, I had the balls in me to be bad, really bad to a girl; but it did happen. I would have stayed passive if she never made her wise cracks about Shivani. Christ, it is over. No regrets and it is the first time that I feel a sense of pride after being involved in a fight and being dirty. No more relation with those three smart pieces of the weaker sex, THEY DIED ON THAT DAY. Better the gals stick to their own world, another interference and gotta dig up the grave again for post mortem and it will sure stink.
Somethings are not yet clear, things like- who on earth did say about the talk we had while we boozed to the gals? The suspect is Midhun and he sure has his own hidden agenda to leak out. Then, what does the silly bitch gain by making me and my pals dirty? Lotta things, but i ain't any more interested in it. Things are over and let it be it. No more grave digging by me at least for now.
The worst thing was that dad had a surgery on the 4th april and i was at Cochin at that time. My heart wanted to be by his bedside, a damn bad fever, exams and then was in a confused state. Should i wait till the college reopens to make it square with Leepa? Any way after a long and hideous turmoil i did it.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
All these days my blogs have been filled with my personal anguishes and my crazy ideas about myself, it is time i started moving. This will be the last one in which i will mention about my classmates and the stuff. I have been wrong in a way all these days, Midhun isn't an asshole really, he tried being friendly with the gals and i took it personally as if he was trying to peep into our group. It ain't the reality. Wat group? Me, Praneeth, Pappu, Sid, Rahul, Ponny, Leepa, Athira and niths never was any group. It happened that we guys saw more of each other during the first days and i started liking their companionship rather than of anyone else.... Days passed and it turned out to be something with cracks in it. The gals were never like us and they wanted guys who are more caring and more understanding, not the ones like us who takes life as it comes. Thus it was natural that the fairer species moved on towards people of our species who happens to be more caring than us. That is the plain truth. And the bitterest thing was i failed to understand it.
I talked with ponni for around 1hr oer fone. I believe she took it personally. Gotta, it was her chaddi buddies i was trying to degrade. Never again will i fail to express the things that comes to my mind to any single jerk. I boozed today and was in a real destructive frame of mind from morning. All these happens dude. Take it easy, it is just another day in ur long life. Ponni must have understood wat i meant. I hated that guy at the beginning and now i realize that it was my failure as a human. He cracked something about Praba and i shouldve snapped at him the same instant and never carried it on in my heart. Arun is paranoid. the whole thing started once he said his conspiracy theory and it surely sounded helluva nice then. Ponni said she moved out coz of Rahul; I dont find a reason. Perhaps she might have formed a personal thing about him. Anyway Rahul is one of us and no single one in the fairer sex can make me stand against him, coz he is a guy with goodness in his heart. So dude, it was ur failure in understanding wat ur friends in the fairer sex required, they wanted care, affection, love... and with ur strong arrogant head u never understood all that and u never can be that kinda person. Coz u lives for the moment and it is just ur family who gets the most of ur goodness, leave it dude, the guys are chumma great. The best ones in the class. The ones with the attitude and ideas, the jack of all trades....
Rahul presented his seminar with 3 larges of dry Vodka down his throat. He did it great. Praneeth was amazing, guys are chumma great. I believe, we all can never be again as the same old way, coz it was never there. It was something that happened coz of not knowing each other..... Christ it is time i went home. Feeling sleepy. Will be off to Chennai tomorrow, gotta keep a chek on my first love, Chechi. Hope she is fine and everything is at its best with her help.
Common God, be there by my side. This guy who happens to spend the major part of his day boozed and who complains a lot. Never again, Watver happens I DONT GIVE A DAMN. It is my family, my friends and no one else. No place for a dislike to creep in...
Monday, February 14, 2005
It was a stinking day. Christ, i wish i was at home with appa n amma, they are the ones i love genuinely. Christ, wat life? Couple of senior sluts called me up in the morning and came the helluva interrogation. wat do they expect? that i will pee in my pants. They even made Leepa cry. Praneeth came late and Pooja(manas flame) changed her plans. Pappu was rocking as usual and rahul and sid and nits were there. Hey, sid gifted niths a card.. is the guy serious? all the best both of u. And then about Ponni? She looked like she finds Count Draculla reincarnated in me. She is still away in her world. I doesn't know. But all together.. if this is how she gonna be, i too ain't gonna give a damn about her.
Everyone was in a hurry to reach home after college. Another thing, Leepa looked nice with her new hairdo. I can sense something building up in Tobin for her.... Hii Hiii
Gotta go and will be bak soon
Friday, February 11, 2005
though i had promised that i will never write anything about her, gotta do. I got a gift voucher from Belgaum, and the only person i know who lives oer ther is her. Christ, she still cares about me and me about her. Poor kid, i should have said yes. Dude, wat is ur probs? U got oer it or u are trying for that. Leave her and ol memories bak in ur trash can and face life. Dont expect old faces to come to life again. U made it dead and now u gotta live that way.
Some one stole my wallet from tain. Lucky guy, he got 1k, on most days he would've been disappointed.
dad is having high blood pressure and.. stuff. Responsibilities are coming on. Earlier used to say that no one gave a damn about my ideas and now it is something like they want me to pour in my ideas. Christ.
It gonna be valentines day on Monday. Doesn't have any special person with whom i could celebrate it. Gals in my life ain't all that imp(mom and sisters xcluded)will be back on Monday with new stuff
Wednesday, February 9, 2005
The Seminar went fine. i did an average work. wasn't in the best frame of mind. Niths and PP did their seminar too. They did it nicely. Ponni had mugged the whole thing. it was like she wanted to prove the point to our stinking mam. Christ aint she sick? Dont know wat the hell the whole thing is about.
Now i am feeling like hell, after all those long lectures and that son of a bitch Midhun hanging around our group. The guy and his friends need real whipping. Hey why on earth am i taking the whole thing so personally, the gals in my group stinks at times. Niths have been an expection. The rest chumma haven't.... nope i aint sure. i gonna ask the asshole to mind his business with his gal wat is her name? Ashwathy right. if he doesn't he sure got me at her back. Teach him to mind his porridge.
Wat has gone wrong in our group? is it that everyone has grown more possessive. I haven't been like this ever before. I never gave a damn about any one else. Was free like hell and didn't mind the single thing in world. Wat the hell, will either blast the whole thing or move away from the gals. Christ i am sick.
Saturday, February 5, 2005
I chatted with Shivani for more than an hour. She has founded a dude whom she suppose is great. Happy for her. At least she found out one. Look at me, said no to the best gal who ever came in my life and now looking around at the weirdest places. Christ, wat should be said about me? I gotta keep outta touch with her, doesn't want to rekindle any of the ol flames. Will try my max to not be online the same time she logs in. She said He isn't like me . He is athletic and is hard. Christ, we together messed the perfect relation. All for wat? Just coz U wouldnt have to hurt ur parents at the end dude. the ones who gave birth to u, the ones who made u this tall.
Great! I understand. The place i made her leave is still void in my life. I know someone will be there to occupy that void and make me whole. Shivani is history. I wouldn't ever mention about her. All the best dear. Keep rocking and enjoy ur life. We will always remain as mates who will always wish the other one luck. Bon voyage love, for ur journeys into the unknown.
Tuesday, February 1, 2005
New Year started of nicely, with me developing a crush about someone. But yep got oer it. The first weeks of Jan went fine and smooth and was rocking. But as time went i could sense cracks building up in our group. It all started after the week our class was suspended. Arun poured a bucket of trash or truth and we chumma grew apart. the guys at one side and the gals at the other end. Niths and Sidhu wasn't aware of it, coz they usually don't attend classes. I sensed it first and thought that it was just my wild imagination. But then Pappu and Praneeth too had the same feelings and Christ weren't we true. The gals didn't give a damn about us. Now that aint one expects of straight friends. Everything should and could be settled with proper conversation. We too drifted away and never gave them a chance to talk. I personally felt like hell. The ones i thought was mine were not even giving a hood about me. Then came the eventful monday and things got worse, and these guys Midhun and his group were crowding around my friends. And it seemed like they liked more to be with them rather than us...... Christ, i turned into a depressed psycho. Was doubt full of every one and Praneeth and Pappu sure helped me and i thing we all had the same kinda feelings.Thank god Niths and Sidhu wasn't aware of the all thing. Then the ice began melting, it is on the move. Everyone has started talking once again with everyone. But still we don't wait for the gals to go outta college. And sure the leeches are still there. Have i grown possessive? or is it any kinda envy creeping in me? if it is so, then for wat use? I believe, we guys complement each other pretty well and no one else in the class got the stuff to be in our league. Ponny, Athira nad Leepa sure can't be replaced with the other gals in the class. They are unique just like us and they are.............
The whole situation is being reviewed by me and 4pack and sure will have the solution. Did Midhun play any creepy stuff? i doubt it, coz the guy chumma sounds like a backstabber. I still remember the first month when i had brought my school photos for Pappu, this guy was all nuts. He said something about being lucky to have all these gals and made some wisecrack about the way me and Prabha was linked. Guy hasn't met great gals in life, that is wat i made out. But then wat is his probs if i got scores of friends oer the map. I don't know, but am dead sure of one thing he dislikes us that is me, Pappu and Praneeth. Christ his name makes me sick.
Got a seminar tomorrow and god knows wat i gonna do with that. I doubt my abilities. Cmmon guy, u got balls and u sure have been at far more tough places and gatherings. after all it is just ur class. U sure can provide the class with a smart piece of work. Remember the ones u did at school in front of all those strange faces and judges. yep, i can. see u morrow after the seminar.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Sunday, January 2, 2005
Christ went out to celebrate the new year with just 15 bucks. Can u believe it? But then i had Sudip who was loaded. Started from Sea Shells and then it was booze all the way. Myself, Sudeep, Dilip, Jose, Asif, Deepak and Chacko. Boozed like hell and from the seashells carried on towards the other bars in town. Enjoyed every bit of it. But then gotta coz i was with friends. at last dropped in at Sudeeps room and guy wasn't all of us stoned. Two cars and 7 guys and no sense but still we managed till the apartment. Got up the next day and continued from where we had stopped. the whole day and at the end i lost all senses.