Wednesday, January 19, 2011


Human life with all its vigor and color, looks bleak, when you wake up on a promising, cold Saturday morning and wonder how to spend it. The need to have a companion, someone to talk to, someone who would bring you steaming coffee, while you are still on bed and someone to embrace and lie down for another half an hour forgetting the bubbles and worries of the world, made me realize why people get married.

The weather was good, wallet heavy, but plans for the day, NIL.

The coming of an old love, to talk with and get drunk seemed promising enough and man she could drink. I got to see a new version of this old girl, with whom I spend, what seemed to be a million hours, talking about mundane things and fondling many a vodka bottlenecks. The bleakness of the day gave way to the swinging of alcohol and life seemed content for a moment, the time we stood on terrace, watching the stars in an embrace and a bottle and two glasses by the side.

All good things definitely comes to an end and so did the vodka bottle from which we were sipping. The time for her to leave me and go to the world she belongs to, arrived. She left leaving me with a void feeling and only a message in my phone to remind me of what I meant to her and what I still mean. The text was crisp and every time I read it, I knew what all I missed in these past one year and what all I lost.

"Here lies my ashes, here lies my remains, cry if you want, weep if you must, but then I am gone to the world, gone to this happy living earth. Living on this earth, each moment, each hour, striking down on my survival, lack of air supply, lack of reasons to stick on. Have to move on, have to try the next stage, death is dear, life so much more dearer, but it all had to end, someday, sometime. Laughing out loud now that I am gone. Its been such a joke that nobody got a clue, nobody knew the torments from within. At this moment, I wish, life was different. That I didn't make those mistakes that you left me for. But, such is life. Honey, such is life. Love you always, love you till your end. That is my last testimony. I love you."


  1. Why this bleak memory?
    Did it mean that much to you?

  2. been there and felt that, all of it and even tried to get married, doenst work....just doenst work....unless its that one person whose void cant be filled with anything else, anyone the new outlay of your page....however, i ask the question: is it really paradise lost, or is the road still under construction???


  4. i belive it is paradise lost but however the faint etchings of the paradise are still visible,once in a while...memories of good old things never fails to cheer one up...

  5. Rocky@ speaking as d narcissist me, true..very reluctant to travel beyond ma perspectives

    Ranjana@wen one finds bliss in the voids in life, den i aint sure abt really wanting someone to fil that..paradise lost..yes, speaking like an average romantic mortal..road under construction..true, the optimist speaks out now...reality, just anoder day when someone got a bit nostalgic about some memories :)

    Shyama@ u always been d romantic, so yup its paradise lost..truly its some kinda nostalgia with "ME" at d center ;)

    1. We were headed on a collision course no doubt, towards each other. I could only retrieve fragments of my existence thereafter. You have been the center and I think you will always be unless a day perhaps comes, when I am able to create a new paradise out of the ashes we were left with. I doubt it but here is a salut to all the good times we shared.


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