Monday, February 21, 2011

A Sunday Morning Social Engineering!!

The neon lamps of the dance floor slowly gave way to a sedate shade of yellow of my room sometime early Sunday Morning. The vodka, which mated with my blood had started showing signs of pregnancy. I was high, my head spinning circles, the feel of the girl in my hand did not seem familiar though her smell did. I kept pondering who is it with me and in a blaze of smoke the urges of the flesh took over the thought and I was on bed rolling, trying hard to undress myself and harder to undress the companion for the night. Like animals, the primate urge satisfied and cycle of progeny completed, the sedate shade of yellow gave way to a melancholy black and blank.

The news paper boy woke me and the memories of last night evaded my mind until my hand touched the person lying next to me. Boy, wow, I didn't end up sleeping with some random girl I met in a party. It was my gal friend, though we are never going to be married nor will we ever have kids, I felt a layer of embarrassment being washed away or rather vanishing and a sense of guilt filling its place.

Smoke circled the room as if sharing my thoughts and her face seemed to reflect the glitter of booze from last night. She will adorn the living room of some other man, make babies with him and lie by his side, just like she is sleeping now. We were mates on one small voyage and not for the venture of life, our paths crossed each others and we are to be together for a brief time and then set sails alone into the dark waters. We never shared a dream except the ones woven on bed and the primates in us never had a reason to complain. But, the smoke is making me think on a very different perspective, with babies and family and responsibilities.

Though I find no reason to believe in love, my heart is still a romantic. Love might exist some-place, some where and my companion for the night will have someone wanting her for ever and not just for the immediate present like me. She could have a million dreams woven in love and not just sick tales of booze to share. She should be set free and not curtailed with the long hands of a primate. All random thoughts invading my mind.

A warm mug of coffee along with discussion about the headlines that made the day, the Sunday Morning witnessed us not just being primates but also being social engineers!! And the engineering marvel we created- a decision to go separate ways. Finally lust giving way to love, libido calming down to let the brain do the thinking and a deep sense of care for the other and her needs and fulfillment of life.

4 comments:

  1. I dunno why i hav read this post of urs like 4 times, something has tug a chord....I like the way u write...I have been thinking of the situation turned arnd, where it is the guy who wants stability and the gal is the one who cant commit, who doenst want a life together, who is only primal and the concept of babies frightens her....who lets who go? whose life is saved?

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  2. ranjana@ trust me, i dunno whose life is saved..but all ma compassion says the primal should let the other go. while brain finds reasons against. at least this is one known primate. not some random beast. the other person would at least be safe. which would be love, u think?? or is it something else??

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  3. i think its something else, i dont think the letting go is love, i think its self preservation, this absolute pleasure of it remaining primal, of never ever having to put a name to it, the intellect gives name, the flesh only asks for the touch... i think its the brain and not the beast who cant let go....the beast wanders and is always free

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  4. all these notions about love, romance,soulmates beginnin to confuse me. bob the one thing i agree with u. my question however is whether the primal urge is the only reason for a man n woman to come together?is ter anythin else beyond it?n wat abt this whole taboo against polygamy?do morals come in here or can we the liberated do wat we please?these thoughts are whizzin around my head at such speed that i feel like m losin my mind.

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