I had this talk with a friend in office, over some coffee, about 'career' of all things. Out of blue, he asked me when I would put in my papers and I quite honestly told him my thoughts on that. His reason for asking, he knew I was not felt important enough in a giant corporation. There was nothing here he knew which I thought I will like here and he understood me as this guy who does what he likes. But, then doing something not all that important to support just a life style for the moment.
Haa haa he had me bulls eye. The life style support part is true, but financially I was much better of in my dad's hand. I could almost charge everything to his account but not the booze. Yeah then money was never a big hindrance in the small town of Cochin, where you practically knew half the people your age. It definitely was not like now, when I have to call my sisters at the end of every single month. But still, there was loads of truth in what he said.
He asked me about what I plan to do as a career. I didn't know. I told him, I feel I am a misfit in the corporate lattice and his explanation was you are not trying to fit into the lattice. Even that is true, but then I am not sure, I ever want to fit in. I am unsure about myself, about what I want to do with my life. Whether it is just a thing I want to do or try doing different things for a very long time to come.
I actually still am unsure what a career means? I find it no different from the actual life I am leading. If I am happy doing a thing, I will do it till I am happy and if that brings the money for the bread. Do I seek growth in it? I don't want the burden a better label will fetch me. I am the last one who wants to be promoted, but I definitely need the biggest pay raise, because that supports a life style as my friend suggested, without having to burden my siblings. I am not sure of the meaning, my description gives to the concept 'career', but then that is the best I am able to define. The eluding definitions !!
And then the killer question, what is PLAN B? The backup plan.. haa haa I actually didn' have a Plan A, forget the Plan B. All I knew was I will quit, when I am not sure. The end of next month or maybe the next year, but then what after that, I haven't thought about. I am sure about the eventual farming, but then do I stick to just supporting a life style and jump straight to farming, when I get bored of this life style. Or should I travel about, maybe volunteer in Sudan or volunteer to fight the whale pirates in North Atlantic, not as a lawyer, but for any task they have to offer. The deck boy to the Major's boot-polisher, anything suits me, as long as it gives me a chance to see new places and do new things, live a different life style. But, then that is not a plan. It is just a wish and I am yet unsure, I want to yet leave this life style.
Ooouuuucch I really haven't given a thought about life up ahead, there are things I want to do, places I want to be at, but the dates and faces to it is not attached. Should I ever try put faces and dates to the things I want to and places I want to be at, that will be so unlike me. Or maybe I plan and live a life in sync with others, but then the vibes hardly ever matches. Money important to me? Bloody well yes, to support a life style I am liking at a particular moment. The Vodka nights need a giant corporate paymaster, then the traveler can afford to actually go as a deck boy, the whiskey drinking, Sabbath observing Nazarani can easily be lived being a farmer and so much more many life styles I would like to live, before I eventually quit.