Sunday, October 9, 2011

Emancipation - naah not at all



Friday night watching me browse through the sports news at leisure, my room mate proclaimed removing his shoes at the door, "Free at last, Free at last, Thank God Almighty I'm Free at last!" (Martin Luther King, the famous head behind the lines, courtesy of my room mates frenzy for  wiki and google). For a moment I thought he was talking something about his life, and the quote was repeated again, looking at me. I smiled, shrugged it and went back to my television browsing.

It was after the last day in office and I was sitting jobless, literally, happy and mesmerised in the world of television. I would have gotten embarrassed, if someone had thrown a farewell thing for me, swiftly and efficiently I vanished after the formalities of handling over Firm provided gadgets. By the time anyone had any cue about my plans, I walked out. I couldn't stand another one of those days, when people speak about me, good and I stand in the centre turning pink with all the attention. Tongue tied because of the false goodness people would be forced to speak, to be politically correct.The truth is so very different, because I know my 15 months with the firm.

The Firm did try its best to keep me on the payroll, was supportive of many a thing. It shut its eyes to the nonsense I bring about, because they did think about me as a good resource. It was the mongrel, who kept barking to be unleashed and stray into the streets, because I was bored of the crumbs. It was not the Firm, nor the people what made me decide, but more the work and the city. I couldn't imagine myself, bald in another 10 years time, sitting with the lap top and pretending to be important. I feel the need to take a bigger bite of the world and that is how it went.

Luther's "Free at last, Free at last, Thank God Almighty I'm Free at last!" had everything different about it.

I am just going back home today, from a vacation for the lack of a better word. Start with life, for a bigger share of it. The one and half years in Hyderabad, wrapped in 3 boxes and 3 bags, labeled and addressed, set to travel with me in the bus, thanks to Telangana. I know that is one thing, I preferred to keep silent for the fear of hurting fellow beings sensitive areas. Lack of sense, the gift of good education, which I found missing from a huge number here and the emotional un-stability, which helped in making this big new circus in town, where the TRS and Congress and everyone else is performing at.

The list 'to do' is waiting at home, on the dining table, under the mug of black coffee that I know Amma will leave for me on almost all days. From paying the vehicle insurance premium online, to speak with my cousins faculty in her college, the list wouldn't end, but I guess the black advocates board that Appa and Amma have put up on the gate, the day I said my bags are packed, is definitely worth doing the 'to do list' for Amma.

Guess, Visakh was right in saying Luther's line to me - ""Free at last, Free at last, Thank God Almighty I'm Free at last!"

6 comments:

  1. Not each one would have the guts to tread off that well trodden path and do what one wishes. I guess you are going to take the path less trodden.

    Best wishes again :)

    You must be relieved.

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  2. Your flair in penning is good.

    At your age and even at this fucking age,( the purists would frown for this "fuckin" in the blog), I could not say, "I'm free at last".Perhaps will have to wait till it is reckoned one day.
    I also see the deep attachment that you have for the people back home. No bullshitting about that and all the sophistry of statements.I appreciate that.
    And I guess they will provide you the strength to, as B said, "take the road less travelled" and to feel continuously the "freedom".
    Good luck.

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  3. Insignia - not sure about the path..but yeah at the end i do see light !! this was like a competitive exam, crossing out a way I could have chosen to live, in this magnanimous life, because for once i was sure that a corporate life with smartly dressed people and not so smart dreams (i meant the real ones, like own a yacht, visit the moon..and not just buy buy a car, have a house, enough to feed the mouths..for i feel with the degrees and certificates, all the smartly dressed people possess, the latter is just existence and never a dream) was not the thing for me..

    I am so very much relieved ma'm !! :)

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  4. Anil - the flair in penning, to me doesn't seem to be as good as the readers composure and understanding :)
    Luther's emancipation of the Blacks never meant they were free. They did wait a long time to be treated as equals, and I hear even now, they aint !! I guess, my immediate freedom was from the lattice pattern that my life suddenly seemed to look and a green card from home, to stick to base and try everything I want to do with life..One after the other, until, I find the one thing that would be life to me and not just credit card bills :)

    Thanks a ton Anil and Insignia for the wishes, "take the road less travelled" and to feel continuously the "freedom".. I sure could do with that :)

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  5. Go forth and - um - sow your wild oats! :-D

    Admire your guts to walk out. That is from someone who have been at the same job for 31 yeas!

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  6. I am so happy for you.... It is a luxury to do something on a whim and even this luxury has a price.... Price or no price, fly my boy into unknown skies :)

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