Wednesday, February 22, 2012

chums and women

Forgive me, if I make you feel ssshhhh with the name of post, cause your beliefs make you feel so. Please read no further, for I am quite sure the things below wouldn't seem appetizing for you. A blog I read recently talked about premenstrual syndrome and how girls felt during the chums made me quite not agree with the author and prompted me to write one up myself, the way I saw it, from the little I have read and seen.

I am not a woman to fully comprehend how it feels to be bleeding 5 days a month, but then that doesn't stop me from writing this post, from the perspective of a man, who has read about it and talked about it with some of them who bleeds. The actual feeling of helplessness, that a woman undergoes the time her fertility clock is running is never talked about in the sanitary napkin adds that I see. It talks about wearing the wings and why let just men have all the fun.

I remember keeping tab of an ex girlfriends 28 day cycle, just to be sure, that she doesn't catch me when she was there. For she picked up quarrels for the silliest of matters and was too delicate to be dealt normal, without the pamper of care in my acts and words. She was the women with wings to the world, but only her boyfriend, the poor me, knew how terrible a person she was to live with during the stage. The fights we picked up before the initial days of the 5 day ritual, invariably got forgotten during the end, when her's heart gets filled with all the time I was made to devote on her. The first time it happened, we were new in the relation, and I quite didn't see it coming. She kept bugging about me not picking her phone the first time she called and boy that was a scene. A silly scene at the end of which she sought refuge under the umbrella of PMS and I was supposed to be chivalrous and forget it.

A friend of mine tells me, she gets sexually excited just before her chums and yet she feels unclean to indulge in the act. The frustration breaks out into mood swings from the left to the right and the north to the south. Another friend once told me, the seclusion she is made to feel from everyday normalcy during her chums is what actually gets her mood-swing and feel irritated, just by the thought of the arriving discomfort. She understands the role she plays in propagation of the species with all the discomfort and the body cramps her physique is made to undergo and she finds it repulsive that her endurance of all that is not appreciated. That brings forth her PMS.

I aint advocating that PMS is all a notion in the head and nothing real, for I really don't know how stable my moods would be if I had to bleed some days every month. PMS could be real and the hormonal imbalances sure fluctuates the moods as well; but if women preach about equality, they shouldn't make themselves weak on accord of PMS. Every woman probably have a unique way of feeling while at it, but then she shouldn't let the swings before and during her chums spoil the chance of being an equal to the man.


  1. Ousu, PMS is a real thing. But I'll also say that as far as mood swings are concerned, the more you know about PMS, the worse the swings are. You know, the minds plays it's games like how medical students turn into hypochondriacs when they learn about symptoms of illnesses.
    You know what I mean?
    PMS signs could also be in the form of aches and pains (ask people who do not keep track of their 28-day cycles). Sorry to tell you that sometimes these physical pains could in turn affect our moods. But then again, that does happen whether you are male or female, right?

  2. i am sorry i had to comment.....not just cos m one of the perpetrator of PMS horror on you (LOL) but also cos it is necessary to have an objective view of the whole matter. as D. Nambiar has suggested, there really is no knowing when the mood swing strikes especially when a women's menstrual cycle is erratic, when keeping a track on the 28 days cycle is of no use, as the hormone imbalance lets the cycle start any which time.also the constant bleeding from female parts is bound to keep any women on an edge. You are right about this phenomenon to be not used as an excuse every single time but yes the swings are genuine. all one can do is to have an approximate idea when the PMS strikes and consciously make an effort to not get affected by the usually unkind world. best of luck in your attempt to understand the complex issues of a woman's mind and body.

  3. its difficult to comprehend something that one is completely alien to, like I will never know what it is to put my dick in a vagina....its the same....bleeding, PMS, pregnancy....these are not in your realm...not to worry, men are men and women are women, equality does not mean oranges become apples or women become like men or men understand what it to have cramps that make you faint.....equality, independence....have many different definitions, just like life and love itself.

  4. Hey Joe as usual a nice post. You are one of the few blogger i follow on a regular basis and hence i am nominating you for an award. The link to the award is All the best and keep up the great work of yours.

  5. D.Nambiar - i aint saying PMS doesn't exist..and you should be right about 'the more you know about it, the more your moods are prone to swings' :)

    But if its the physical discomfort, say aches or cramps, it sure effects men as well..and then I can't comment on the hormonal imbalances and its effects, for i know, every time i drink, i feel different..hormones secreted when the alcohol gets into my system, makes me feel really different..maybe it could be the same..

    i really can't say..for i aint a woman, in all the beauty the word holds..

  6. Shyama - so it is all a guess game, if your cycle is i sure have no answer to that..but if you know it, like you just said, pms aint an excuse to have your way..and dear, trust me i wasn't actually trying to figure out the complex issues of women mind and body..for i am just an alien, to the whole was more about growling whatever i felt after reading a blog..

  7. Ranjana - i sure am just an alien and i don't think i would ever feel it the way women actually feel..

    the equality i am talking about doesnt want to make an orange an is far from there..i cant understand about cramps which makes one faint...and you sure can't feel about how it feels to have the dick inside the and woman are different..similar but different..but the concept of equality i meant was in a woman being free to do everything a man does..and many do idea was just a thought for the few who doesn't actually do it, for cause of the pms..

  8. Engram - thanks for the award nomination..glad to know you read me and like my posts:)

  9. I guess the Duke of Edinburgh got very bugged by Her Majesty, The Queens cyclical aberrations that he got trapped by the DES ( Duke of Edinburgh Syndrome), that now for years he trails a few steps behind when she walks about and sleeps in a separate bed room!

  10. In the early years of my marriage I had found it very difficult to accept P's mood swings. Boy, was she irritable! After some time, the 'periods' seemed to all round the year thing!! Finally, I did what any face-saving husband would do- I kept a very good distance on those days she would peak out.

  11. Whoa... this is the first chums and PMS article from a guy's perspective that im reading. The funny thing just the other day me n my frnds were talking about how guys would feel about all this you know. and I TOTALLY agree wid what u said about gender equality. Good post!!

  12. Anil - DES was hilarious :)

    mr B - "face saving husband" i fell in love with the concept !

    Sandra - Glad that I have a visitor and she agrees to my post..its just a guy's perspective, not a thesis on pms and chums..


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