Saturday, March 3, 2012

my blog - bisected

I started with the New Year Celebrations in the year 2004, which was more or less, a diary entry, purely personal in nature. I read about this online web-log, in 2002 and it took me 2 years to finally remember it again to try it for myself, I used to write with the pseudonym Ezra and not Ousu. Guess, if I am right, it made you a tiny intellect among your peers, cause you had a blog of your own.

But, my old friend forgetfulness caught up and made me go clueless about the password to the id, and the existence as Ezra ceased one fine day . My first blog id wasnt but, the password of the latter I forgot and started the Ousu one in 2009, publishing again the initial posts by Ezra. My existence as Ezra, I think no one ever remembers, other than me.

Thanks to some friends who reads and spends some time using the world wide web, my first posts as Ousu in 2009 had 4 visitors, who were all my friends, but then they talked about the posts to me, which made it a little curious for other friends and they wanted the link. I made my blog id, my signature line and that drew in maybe 4 or 5 more of visitors to read a post or maybe just to have a general feel about it so as to get a clue about the silence I maintain in real life about personal stuff, like romance and flings. The posts were more of irregular grunts than growls, more a very personal online diary than anything else.

I don't remember taking part in much writing competitions nor ever winning a prize except an old faded certificate, attesting that I have won a short story writing competition in my first standard. How much ever I try remember, I actually don't remember anything like that. And if I remember right, some friends during my 3rd and 4th standards, used to ask me to write their letters to school for them, which I happily did. I guess that is the first time someone made me feel they think, I could write. Not with the grace of a poet nor with the mystery in phrases, but give some word or the other, to a thought and make my hands scribble it.

From the letters to school, for a permission or an explanation or a leave letter to this weblog as Ousu, it has been quite a long journey with periods of absolute non-writing and now to a little sense of consistency, thanks to some friends I met here in this blogger world.

After my last breakup and getting drunk over the new found independence and sleeping around to compensate for the time spend in being chaste; I thought about re-igniting my old habit, for suddenly I found a lot of time at hand. The time kept reserved for a girlfriend who practically lived with you, got erased from my days and I found myself with time in hand and started pecking at the blog again in January of 2011.

Reading my posts over the years, I find a lot of difference in the way I write. From being a boasting diary entry, I feel I did travel a bit recently, into writing about abstracts I keep thinking, indulging into personal stuff every once in a while. But if you ask me, whether I grew as a writer, I have no clue. The posts though have become a little more regular, thanks to some friends from the blogger world, both writers and readers, who actually read what I write and at times think about it and leaves a comment.

I don't think, my blog has the grace of the sentence, nor it was much thought about a thing. The content as well, until quite recently wherein I started trying with writing about abstracts or my thoughts. An online diary was the easiest thing to write for an irregular diary writer, who has got a box full of diaries from way back in 96. But just like in my blog, only the box is full, not the diaries, for there are some years with just the diary and nothing in it. In the same lines there are at times nothing in my posts, like my this post, which talks about nothing of much significance or like adieu my dear, which is yet again a diary entry with an effort to make it structured.


  1. This post signifies the long way you have come. Doesn't it feel good to look back and see that you've taken this more seriously than the diary-writing that we all tried to do, once upon a time.

    Keep writing.

  2. First time on your blog! Just exploring around here! :)

  3. D Nambiar - the long way I have come, it sure feels great to see all these differences in the way I write and think.

  4. Jen - welcome to the growls and do leave a mark if your exploration leads to something interesting in my posts..


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