Saturday, March 17, 2012

time heals



Science tells me, man, in the course of his travel from 'apes' to 'men', not just lost the tail but also his thoughts grew wider, deeper and broader. He thought about things, presuming and assuming, believing briefly a presumption to be true, in search of the next level of the thought, and that has led him to where he stands today.  "From how does lightening happen", which puzzled the first members of our species, we have come all the way to lightening resistors. 

His thoughts always accompanies him, the invisible twin, sometimes mono-zygotic, some times not. Watching a game of football, the thoughts might be not about football or the way that particular game has to be played nor about the pretty lady in the stand sitting two rows ahead; but about the milk I forgot to keep back in the fridge. Making love to your beloved, ones thoughts not always sticks to the person or the neighbor damsel / hunk nor anything to do with the act, but could be found wandering about the tiny blotch of black on the ceiling. The thoughts would be of people, things, abstracts, could be of anything, but the process normally is always on, in almost all humans, except the time we call it a night and not have a dream nor a nightmare at least.

Broken hearts attracts the phrase, "time heals, you will surely forget" like flees to an open sweet. But time seldom makes one forget, but rather makes the thought disappear, for all of us live for the present, looking up ahead into our future. The memories will always be there, until the grey cells gets corrupted with age, but all that would remain before and after the corruption is only the memories, which could be triggered in a nostalgic frenzy, forming part of our present thoughts.

Travelling in a bus, passing by the side of a school, might make one think about his school or friends back then or some incidents which occurred while in school. But only when a set of conditions triggers ones memory to something from the old days, does one think about things from past, during the school. One could boastfully say, I remember all my friends from 1st grade, which in my case is quite untrue, but could be true in the case of many humans, but all that person actually does is, the images of everyone from the 1st grade is stored some place in his memory, a vault which gets opened when something triggers the word '1st grade' in him. One remembers most things from the past, but it doesn't ever mean the past is thought about through each moment he spends being alive. The memories forms a part of me, but surely it is not the force or thought which takes the center stage of a man's existence.

All the friends from 1st grade are never again alive in you, but only a few on rare occasions, when one goes riding in the joyous / painful memories of time spend as a kid attending the 1st grade. Incidents and people, unless they have a significant importance to you the person, gets stored in a place from which it is hard to be recovered or maybe gets deleted for ever. The few significant ones stays active, but is not always thought about and given life every single moment of our life.

Living this day the 17th of March, in the year 2012 after Christ, if I try remember my days from childhood with a conscious effort, I might have my thought process going through the big grounds of the school and friends filling it, but the process is limited to a select few, for my memory is corrupted to have made the insignificant ones go vanish. And of all the significant ones, about whom I remembers, not everyone is thought about, the thoughts rather glides from one side of the ground to the other with just my favorite or loathed characters making an appearance in a glimpse and then vanishing to be replaced by another and then another. The past lives in the present for brief moments and then crawls back into the place, where it had been lying dormant, before I thought about school.

Not every person who has been a part of ones life and has held some significance, one way or the other exist in each days thoughts or even each years thoughts. We all know that, even if we remember people, everyone stored in our memory, never forms a part of the thoughts right at this moment for years at a stretch. In ones thoughts, very few would live everyday and some would never be born again and some stays hidden, unless the catalyst of some nostalgic feeling is actually triggered.

The people who would always live or would always be thought about each day is the ones who are around at the present. The wife thinks about her husband everyday and his big appetite for friday night dinner, because she is going to be with him the friday evening and her life is knit closely with his, and him and his thoughts forms a part of her present or future. My grand-mom, who passed away last year had 5 kids, out of which one died when she was just some months old and grandma had some hair of the child wrapped in a soft cloth, secured in her vault. I once asked her, whether she remembers the kid who died, she said yes and had a little strain her voice answering me. I asked her, do you think about her everyday or often, is she alive in your thoughts of present, she said with tears rolling out from the corner of her eyes, "NO, in fact her thoughts haven't crossed my mind in some months. I remembers her now, when you asked me about her, a grey picture faded with time and my mind think about the soft curls she had and the way she used to cry. But my dear child, whom I brought to existence, was not even alive in me for some months. Time and again, something triggers the memory and the child lives in my thoughts for a brief moment and then her thoughts go vanishing again."

The time someone is thought about, the person thought about is alive in the mind for the moment and then expires without notice, with the thoughts wandering on to something else. When a thing or incident is thought about, the moments from the past is given the whiff of life for a brevity and then vanishes from the thoughts yet again for hours, days, weeks or years to come.


Time indeed heals, for the wounds and the way it was inflicted is not going to be part of the present thoughts for ever, it will all go into the vault of memories, surfacing only when triggered by something and then disappearing again into the vault from which it made an appearance. No man is ever going to live with the constant pain of a broken heart ten years from today, for the broken heart is not going to be in his thoughts around the clock to cause the hurt as it did the day it was broken.




8 comments:

  1. Some one said ."Time may be a great healer but a lousy beautician."
    I feel how so ever time pass, and fly by, there will always be the aroma and the sting of things that enlivened us and deprived us. Don't you think so?
    See the locks your grand ma preserved speaks volumes.

    And a suggestion do not make your blog be a one way communication. The blog is complete only when your respond to comments and also visit fellow bloggers without fail.

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  2. Anil - True the locks do speak volumes. The aroma and sting sure stays, but not always, I feel. We would be richer by it, but then not exactly have it in our thoughts always, we would have it in us, but not on the surface.

    Rather than blaming time, for all my inaction about comments and blog reading, I should be honest and confess, I been keeping away from replying to the comments nor read much, for quite some months now. The little time I spend online every week these days, could be a reason, but then that is just a reason.

    I think, I could do well with your suggestion and thank you anil !

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  3. I dont remember when I stopped hopping to your blog. Maybe your irregularity in posting or my busy schedule.

    Anyway, Time only softens the emotion; if I had a break up yesterday; I would lament about it today; a year down the lane I might just feel sad about it and 10 years further; nothing at all.

    The trail stays behind, there is nothing like an "Absolute nothing". It doesnt exist. It would not be the other way too; human beings are designed to move on. You cant cling onto something forever and keep that always on top of mind isnt it? :)

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  4. What is this 'healing' people talk about, Ousu? Bindu (insignia) says that down the lane after 10 years she might feel nothing at all. It is not so, at least in my case. Maybe the pain lessens, but the wound never heals; but that depends on the person. Even after 34 years it still hurts me...

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  5. Insignia - Time soften's the emotions and its true about the ten years, making the pain / pleasure go behind in the thoughts. Nothing can be on top of the mind always, as you said. But don't you think one would feel the pang / bliss for a moment, the rare time the memory of the pain / pleasure, surfaces and we actually have our mind racing through it, thinking about it?

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  6. mr B - the wound still lasts, but soothed with years, maybe that is the healing all about..years makes the thought of the person go behind stage for major share of ones active thoughts, which determines his status of mind.. 37 years and it still hurts, but haven't the 37 years poured in millions and zillions of other thoughts which kept the pain in the background for months? maybe that is the healing..

    the pain lasts only when the reason behind the pain is in your active thoughts, and times makes it go very short..isn't that right mr B?

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  7. Ousu- Oussome post yaar.
    it gives a feel i must confess..
    as your post says, TIME CAN BE A BEST HEALER for invisible wounds.

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  8. Karthik - thanks bob about the appreciation on the post. Time surely heals, every man can speak from his own life. yet at times we fail to accept it and smile :)

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